Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
