lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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