I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize