the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
