At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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