How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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