That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
