I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Randomize
