So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
