I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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