Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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