I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
