Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
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