You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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