dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
