if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
how do flat chested girls get laid?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I still have a little drunk in my system
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
