as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize