what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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