id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
