the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
