Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
