Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
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I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
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Watching her eat just hurts me
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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