My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
