Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
