you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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