So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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