Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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