oh god the rape fog is back!
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
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I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
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He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
We were destined to go to rehab together
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.