I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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