a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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