Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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