I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
