So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
