I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
