He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
