dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
