Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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