I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Say something about gay babies.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
