do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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