So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
