made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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