Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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