Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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