Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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