Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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