alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
