D3 body, D1 cock
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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