I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
