Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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