Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
