a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I FOUND THE LEGS
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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