its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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