Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You were trust falling into bushes
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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