its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
