if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
