You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
