I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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