I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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