I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
