I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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